Category Funny

You Think You Know Awkward? Think Again.

I open my eyes. It’s 7:45 am. I groan. I still haven’t received the phone call from the hospital telling me when a bed will be ready, but I know that I have to go in to start round two of chemo. Screw it, I’m going back to sleep. 8:31, my phone rings. Hospital says […]

And I’m Back!

Well, after a nice long break at home, I’m back at Presby. Before coming here, I had to stop at the “bank”, and make another “deposit”. I am as yet undecided if I should post the experience. I probably end up posting it, but if you wanna hear about it, contact me and tell me. […]

Soooo….when do I get to wake up?

Hey, yeah, so, this has been a pretty fun run. A bit long, for a dream, I think, but I’m about ready to wake up and get on with my life. Can someone out there pinch me, maybe? Did I forget to set an alarm clock or something?   No, really though.   More seriously, […]

Slight Chance of Bone Pain

For the last week or so, I’ve been sitting around, waiting for my counts to come up, so I can be discharged. The counts in particular that we care about: Hemoglobin A measure of the overall ability of your red blood cells to get oxygen to your various body parts. Mine has been hovering around […]

There Will Be Blood

So while I sit here, waiting for my numbers to return, my platelet count is just nose diving. I get transfusions regularly, but apparently, they haven’t been super clear with some of the potential side effects. Most of them are pretty obvious and readily apparently. For instance – you clot ridiculously slowly. I pulled a […]

Adventures in Bowel Movements, Part Deux

This post will be a short one. The second roommate that I had was a nice old guy who was in the hospital for a reason I was never really able to work out. He was never hooked up to an IV, he wasn’t getting chemo, and nobody ever visited him except a professional care […]

Literally the Most Embarrassing Thing That’s Ever Happened To Me

Disclaimer: Family members. I love that you guys have been following my blog, and that you guys have enjoyed the posts, and I truly do appreciate all the love and support. This post…you may want to skip. I can’t tell you why you want to skip it without basically giving you the whole story, and […]

Stupid Things I Miss

I’ve always been kind of an all-or-nothing kind of person. Hospital stays are apparently no exception. Before June 4th, when I was admitted to NY Presbyterian, I had exactly 2 visits to a hospital, both lasting less than an hour, both to get X-Rays to double check that my bronchitis hadn’t turned to┬ápneumonia. You know […]

Let’s Talk About Poop, baby

Warning: This post will contain numerous references to poop, will talk directly about poop, and there will most likely be poop related puns. If any of this offends, concerns, or disgusts you – you might want to leave now. There’s a funny thing about never having to have been at a hospital before. Intellectually, I […]

I am Legend

So a funny thing happened today, but to tell the funny story, first, we need to talk about blood. Anemia, Hemoglobin, and What Levels Mean Your blood contains 3 different parts. Red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets. White blood cells are basically your immune system. Platelets are the things that cause blood clots […]